My Nana

Grandad, Nana, Anjane', Lincoln

June 2007

Nana's funeral was today. It was wonderful. Nana was (& still is) an incredible woman, and I hope to be like her someday. The thing that really stands out to me about Nana is that she LOVES EVERYONE. I realized at the funeral that every single person in my whole extended family (which is huge) ADORES Nana. She made everyone feel special. She was interested in everyone's lives. My uncle told us that someone once said to him, "I've always wanted to ask an Allen why each of you feel like you can do anything." and he quickly replied, "Because of our mother."

Nana really did make me feel like I could accomplish anything that I set my mind to. I was lucky enough too, that she made my dad feel like that growing up, and he in turn made his children feel that same way. Nana loved music. She had a beautiful singing voice. When I was younger, my grandparents made their children & grandchildren a tape of them singing their favorite songs. While growing up, I would listen to it sometimes daily, writing down the words to the songs, and playing the tape over & over again while singing along with my Nana. This morning I was doing fine emotionally, until I walked into the church for the viewing & heard that same recording of Nana singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". That song will always make me think of her.

I had the opportunity to live with Nana & Grandad when I was 9 years old. We lived with them for a year & I loved it. I have very vivid memories of sitting at the dinner table eating strawberries & sugar and talking with Nana about what we were thankful for. I remember hearing her play the piano and sing. I remember playing games with Nana. She was some of my biggest competition when it came to word games, and since we were both extremely competitive, I loved trying to beat her at those games.

Lincoln commented today that he felt so lucky that he was able to be around Nana these past 6 1/2 years. He said that I could have described to him how wonderful she was, but it would never have been the same for him as experiencing who she was firsthand. He said that Nana made him feel like part of the family immediately. I am incredibly thankful that Nana got to know Kylee before she died. My favorite memory of all, is the one I have of Nana holding Kylee while Lincoln & I were sealed to her. I wish I had a picture of the way Nana looked at me in that moment & I wish I had bottled up the feeling she exuded, so that I could feel it again.

Nana is special to me. She is truly one-of-a-kind. I will miss her. She has been so supportive of me throughout my life. She was so excited for me to get my hysterectomy, so that I could feel better. She helped give me the courage to go through with my decision to have this surgery, because she had gone through the same thing when she was in her 30's. Nana also helped give me the determination and courage to adopt, because Nana herself was adopted & talked so highly of her adoptive parents.

I'm so glad that I was able to have enough energy to go the funeral today. It completely wiped me out, and I think it will take days for me to feel better, but it was definitely worth it. I was so thankful to feel of Nana's sweet spirit and to know that I will see her again someday. I'm happy to know that she will be with Jackson until I can get back to him. I love you Nana. I'll miss you.