January 2006 was when I first found out that I was going to be a mother...over 4 years ago. That moment changed me. I was determined to use those 9 months to improve the person that I was, so that I could be the best mom that I could be. I was on an incredibly fulfilling path and my dreams were coming true.
Three weeks before his expected arrival, I received the news that my son was no longer living. The moment I gave birth to Jackson, I felt my motherly instincts kick in...but I had no way to use those instincts. I was so thankful to be Jackson's mother, but was confused about how to fulfill that calling, since he wasn't here with me. I missed him more than I can explain.
Now I celebrate the fact that I am Jackson's mother by visiting the cemetery...
And by celebrating his birthdays without him here...
Although my experience with motherhood has been very different with Jackson, I am so thankful to be his mother. I miss him. I love him. He is a huge part of me and who I am and who I want to be. He made me a mother.
Becoming Kylee's mother was very unexpected. I became her mother two days after I met her, when she came to stay in our home permanently. (Of course, legally, I didn't become Kylee's mother for many months after that, but she felt like my daughter right from the start.) I was finally able to act on those motherly instincts. She made it easier for me to feel like a mom. She helped me to have faith and courage, and to grow in ways that I never thought possible. She brought so much light into my life.
My road to motherhood with Kylee was not typical either. First we had to be granted temporary custody and go through the adoption process...
Then after the adoption was final, we were sealed in the temple. Now I had the knowledge that I would be Kylee's mom forever.
I celebrate the fact that I am Kylee's mother by spending as much time with her as I can. I get to have her in my home, which I try to thank Heavenly Father for every day, knowing that it isn't always that way.
Kylee brings peace and joy to my life. Being her mother nourishes my soul.
Two of my greatest blessings are my children. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for letting me be their mother. I can think of no greater privilege.
Happy Mother's Day to our mothers. Lincoln & I are truly blessed to have the mothers that we do!
Three weeks before his expected arrival, I received the news that my son was no longer living. The moment I gave birth to Jackson, I felt my motherly instincts kick in...but I had no way to use those instincts. I was so thankful to be Jackson's mother, but was confused about how to fulfill that calling, since he wasn't here with me. I missed him more than I can explain.
Now I celebrate the fact that I am Jackson's mother by visiting the cemetery... And by celebrating his birthdays without him here...
Although my experience with motherhood has been very different with Jackson, I am so thankful to be his mother. I miss him. I love him. He is a huge part of me and who I am and who I want to be. He made me a mother.
Becoming Kylee's mother was very unexpected. I became her mother two days after I met her, when she came to stay in our home permanently. (Of course, legally, I didn't become Kylee's mother for many months after that, but she felt like my daughter right from the start.) I was finally able to act on those motherly instincts. She made it easier for me to feel like a mom. She helped me to have faith and courage, and to grow in ways that I never thought possible. She brought so much light into my life.
My road to motherhood with Kylee was not typical either. First we had to be granted temporary custody and go through the adoption process... Then after the adoption was final, we were sealed in the temple. Now I had the knowledge that I would be Kylee's mom forever.
I celebrate the fact that I am Kylee's mother by spending as much time with her as I can. I get to have her in my home, which I try to thank Heavenly Father for every day, knowing that it isn't always that way.
Kylee brings peace and joy to my life. Being her mother nourishes my soul.Two of my greatest blessings are my children. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for letting me be their mother. I can think of no greater privilege.Happy Mother's Day to our mothers. Lincoln & I are truly blessed to have the mothers that we do!
4 comments:
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ! I cannot think of anyone who deserves to be a Mother more than you. It is your calling - and it shows. Jackson and Kylee are just so gosh darn lucky : )
I think I get choked up reading your blog almost every time I visit it. You're awesome :) And Happy Mothers Day!!
Lindsey
This was so lovely. What a beautiful tribute to your two sweet children.
You amaze me!
That was Beautiful. Happy Mother's Day.
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