Trading Places

Today was Lincoln's first day back at school. Two semesters ago, he had to drop two of his classes because we got Kylee, & Lincoln had to be at multiple meetings, hearings, visits, and appointments with me in order for her adoption to go through. With his current schedule, he couldn't do it...so he went to school part-time, while still working nights in the ER full-time. Then last semester he didn't take any classes, because I was having two surgeries, 4 months apart. During that time, he took care of both Kylee & I, changed jobs & has gotten 2 promotions since then, & has studied for the MCAT & prepared his application for medical school. Kylee & I put him back almost a year in school. Talk about sacrifice. He was 100% willing to put his goals on the back burner to take care of his family. Thinking about it brings me to tears.

Now it is time to trade places. Three days a week, Linc will be home for 7 hours to sleep...and that's it. Kylee & I probably won't even see him. Two days a week, we will see him for about an hour. The next few Saturdays, Lincoln will continue to take MCAT practice tests. Each test takes 4-6 hours. Sundays will be more relaxed, thank goodness. During this semester, we will also be preparing for a possible move to another country. There is A LOT that goes along with that. I've just barely started the process & it is a little overwhelming. Add to that, the uncertainty of where we will be in 4 months (moving to Mexico or still here in AZ) & we have a lot on our plate! 

I've been feeling the pressure. I'll most likely feel like a single mom most days & will be responsible for completely taking care of Kylee, walking the dogs 3-4 times a day (we don't have a backyard), and maintaining our home. I'm not going to lie, I'm still slowly building my energy back up since my hysterectomy (I told you it was a LONG recovery) & this new schedule is quite possibly going to take every single ounce of energy that I have. 

But I'll do it. Because I love Lincoln & I feel like he was MEANT TO BE A DOCTOR. I think about the way I saw him interact with patients in the hospital & how he is excelling at his job now (he was promoted to grossing & then was made the night lead over two departments) & I know this is what he is supposed to do. I told him that I would encourage him to apply to medical school for the next 10 years if he doesn't get in. I've never believed in somebody's abilities so much. He is pretty special! 

So I guess I should have the same faith in myself. And remember that I am MEANT TO BE A MOM. And that I am MEANT TO BE A WIFE. And hope that I make the decisions that I need to, in order to get our family to where we need to be. Lincoln has given every ounce of his energy to the cause. Now it's my turn.