Last night I was feeling sorry for myself. You would think that I wouldn't have any reason to feel sorry for myself anymore, since my life is going so smoothly right now...but that is the adversary's way, I guess. Feeling a little like an old lady in this post-hysterectomy body of mine (it's true that it ages you) with nobody my age who can relate. Wondering why every time I become good friends with someone, they move away. Thinking that we have totally outgrown this little townhouse that we've lived in for the past 6 1/2 years (even more mentally than physically). Cursing myself for worrying more about my dog (Duke) than myself & trying to carry him across the creek at the cabin...& totally straining something where I'm still healing from my surgery & hurting ever since. Blah, Blah, Blah.
So I wrote an email to my dear friend who lives in Utah & that did the trick. She is amazing. I met her on a website for parents who have lost a child. We talk on the phone & hang out when I am in Utah & she is a gem. Sounds weird, but it's true. I can tell her anything. Then I decided even though it was midnight & Linc was just getting home from work, that I was going to watch tv & not think at all about what I wasn't getting done, or the fact that I needed to go to bed...so we watched Boston Med together until 1am & decided it's our new favorite show.
This morning I woke up to my baby talking in her crib. We played & laughed & ate & sang. As soon as she went down for a nap, I was back in bed for a nap of my own. I woke up to Lincoln telling me that lunch was ready...and it smelled delicious. I then discovered that he had washed the dishes, gone to the grocery store (& even sifted through my coupons & used a few), & made lunch for us, all while I took a 2-hour nap. We ate some more & laughed at the mac & cheese stuck on Kylee's nose & the way she rubbed it in her hair & made her hair stick up everywhere, and then we took pictures of it. Then I cleaned all of Kylee's toys while she played like an angel, and Linc studied for the MCAT in the other room.
We remembered to read scriptures together and then Lincoln & Kylee & I gave each other group hugs over & over, before we sent Linc out the door for work. When Kylee went down for another nap, I took a shower with a Sprouts bag on my head, because I couldn't find my shower cap & was too lazy to wash my hair. And while I was laughing at how funny it looked, I was thinking that it is funny how quickly things can turn around & that when I pay attention to my family and do things that invite the Spirit into my life, & when I don't worry so much about ALL of the things that I'm not doing right, that all of my other worries & insecurities just seem to disappear. I also realized that my hubby & baby make all the difference in my life. Their small (& big) acts of service are enough to keep me going indefinitely. (Kylee's acts of service are accidental for now, but her smiles & hugs & everything else are awesome!)
So what I'm trying to say in a very roundabout way is...
Here's to the little things in life that make a really big difference.
This morning I woke up to my baby talking in her crib. We played & laughed & ate & sang. As soon as she went down for a nap, I was back in bed for a nap of my own. I woke up to Lincoln telling me that lunch was ready...and it smelled delicious. I then discovered that he had washed the dishes, gone to the grocery store (& even sifted through my coupons & used a few), & made lunch for us, all while I took a 2-hour nap. We ate some more & laughed at the mac & cheese stuck on Kylee's nose & the way she rubbed it in her hair & made her hair stick up everywhere, and then we took pictures of it. Then I cleaned all of Kylee's toys while she played like an angel, and Linc studied for the MCAT in the other room.
We remembered to read scriptures together and then Lincoln & Kylee & I gave each other group hugs over & over, before we sent Linc out the door for work. When Kylee went down for another nap, I took a shower with a Sprouts bag on my head, because I couldn't find my shower cap & was too lazy to wash my hair. And while I was laughing at how funny it looked, I was thinking that it is funny how quickly things can turn around & that when I pay attention to my family and do things that invite the Spirit into my life, & when I don't worry so much about ALL of the things that I'm not doing right, that all of my other worries & insecurities just seem to disappear. I also realized that my hubby & baby make all the difference in my life. Their small (& big) acts of service are enough to keep me going indefinitely. (Kylee's acts of service are accidental for now, but her smiles & hugs & everything else are awesome!)
So what I'm trying to say in a very roundabout way is...
Here's to the little things in life that make a really big difference.
3 comments:
Amen to that! I liked this post. Thanks for sharing!
I'm in the same boat and it definitely feels like it's sinking! I am recovering from my hysterectomy and you're right...it's yuck. If you need to talk, feel free to call, e-mail, whatever. I know EXACTLY what you're going through, because, well, I'm doing it too. And it's sad, depressing, hard, anything but fun. I find myself stuck in those crappy thoughts daily. I hope things get better soon. I know they will. It's just this bad hand we've been dealt called endometriosis!
Amen sister : ) And I am curious to see how you made a Sprouts bag into a shower cap !
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