Testimony of the Lord's will

I love those times when I feel like I am exactly where Heavenly Father wants me to be. I don't feel that "perfectly complete" feeling often, but I am constantly striving for it. For the past week or so I have been asking the Lord more specific questions about myself and the purpose of my life. It is hard for me to understand why I am limited in what I can do physically, when I feel like I have righteous goals that I need good health in order to achieve. I've been struggling with the fact that I'm not able to help people out very often physically, because I'm trying to get the basics done in my own life. Because these things take more effort & time for me when I am not feeling well, that leaves a lot less time for other people.

I have gotten many answers since I started being more specific and honest with praying and trying to figure out what my mission in life is. About a year ago my dad gave me a blessing and told me some interesting things about how I should be spending my time. Most of it was about talking and visiting with people every day and trying to lift others up. The ways that I was told I should go about doing this were very specific.

Let me just say that I REALLY want a full-time job. I haven't had a full-time job since October 2005. All I've wanted since then was to work again. I thrive on it and love interacting with different people and challenging myself and learning new things. It's been really difficult for me to not get what I want. I think I've kind of felt like after not having Jackson here, I should have the privilege of working. After I received that blessing from my dad, I realized that that might not be part of the Lord's plan for me. Even though my plans for my life make sense to ME, I have come to the realization (a year later) that I really don't know anything and that the Lord knows everything.

While my sister was giving us a tour at the Mormon Trail Center she challenged us to think of a question that we wanted an answer to. Mine was how to align my will with my Heavenly Father's. I wanted to have a stronger desire to do exactly what He wants me to do, without letting my own so-called wisdom or perspective lead me in a different direction. I know that once we stop pushing and just let Him in, that our way will be made SO much clearer for us. I have been so overcome with the Spirit these last few days, and I have been able to feel the Lord teaching me things every day. I actually feel like my mission in life is special. We are all SUPPOSED to lead different lives and have different experiences and be different people. He is so merciful and wise and knows me & knows exactly what I need. I am so thankful to have the gospel in my life and to have the knowledge that I am a child of God.

I really appreciate the many lives that I am able to witness. All of you teach me so much! I am continuing to feel better physically. It's a slow process but I am so thankful to be able to do more & more every day. I feel very complete right now in my life. :) Just thought I'd share....