Birthday Boys

Tomorrow is a special day...it is Jackson's 3rd birthday & our nephew Jayten's 10th birthday. My nieces & nephews really played a part in helping me feel special & loved when I didn't have kids of my own. Jayten especially is so kind & sensitive to my feelings and cares about Jackson. His past two birthdays, he has wanted to add an extra layer or extra candles to his cake to celebrate Jackson's birthday with his. Jayten...thanks for being such a good person & for showing Lincoln & I that you love us. We are so thankful for you.
I'm sad that Jackson isn't here to share in the excitement of having Kylee in our family. I'm sad that the two of them aren't going to grow up playing together. As time goes on, the pain of losing him changes but it is always there.

Happy birthday Jackson. We are so grateful that you are a part of our family. We are trying to live good lives so that we can be with you someday! We love you!!!

Coincidence?

Back in July, when my grandma died, I wrote this post about her. In it, I mentioned that Grandma was always talking with me about my infertility, my relationship with Jackson, and getting pregnant again. Grandma died 8 days before Kylee was born. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Together

I love that Lincoln & I are experiencing parenthood together. We've had a lot come our way since we've been married...and somehow we've made it through & come out on top. Oh, I love him. Even though we hoped for children much earlier, I realize how extremely valuable our 5 1/2 years of being able to focus on each other has been. Things won't ever be quite the same. But I'm not sad. We've had our time together and we are moving on to new things! We are starting a new chapter in our lives. Today Lincoln expressed to me that he has been feeling kind of ignored. (It wasn't funny, but I almost laughed...because I remember reading about this very thing in baby books & magazines when I was pregnant with Jackson...a gentle warning to not forget about your husband when the baby comes!) Today I am recommitting myself to my relationship with him. He is amazing. He's the best father I've ever seen. Really, he is. He is so kind to me. He is extremely unselfish with his time and energy. He makes my life easier. Linc....I love you, I love you, I love you. Thanks for being you and for being mine.

Divided Attention

These cute little things are still here in our home & are doing well. When this whole adoption situation came about, Linc mentioned that there was a chance we would have to get rid of the dogs. My reply? "Lincoln, I can't handle that thought right now. Don't throw any more life changes at me please." He didn't say anything else about it. :) It's a good thing they do well with the baby. They haven't barked at her once. We never leave them in the same room alone with her and don't let them lick her as much as they want to. :) They usually just sniff her & run away. They do seem pretty jealous though. When we are playing with Kylee, Daisy will work her way between us & the baby. It's pretty funny. Poor doggies...they aren't quite sure what to do now that our lives don't revolve around them anymore. :) Because Kylee is in our room, Daisy & Duke no longer sleep in my bed with me ...I miss it. :( But when I realize that there is a sweet little baby sleeping by my bed I just want to pinch myself. Is this really happening to us?

Good News!

THE PAPERS ARE SIGNED! This is how my mom & I feel about it...

Are you ready for a story? The papers were originally supposed to be signed on Tuesday. I had commented to the birth mom that things have been going SO,SO smoothly...and I wondered if that might change. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about when I say that when you are making a really good, life-changing decision, that bad things sometimes start happening that can get in the way of it. Well, Tuesday was that day... a million different random things in our house have broken these last couple of weeks (laptop, microwave, my beloved hair straightener, etc.) & we added a few things to that list on Tuesday. Oh how fun. I had called the birth mom to tell her that I was WAY behind schedule that day & shared with her a few things that were going on...you know, just little things like finding out that we had to have ALL of our adoption money that day instead of the $1000 we thought we needed. (The birth mom told me that she had been having a similar day...it was insane.) I commented to her that I didn't know what else could go wrong. Well... Finally, HOURS after I should have had everything ready to go to LDS Family Services, I was ready to walk out the door. After I had Kylee in her carrier, & all of my paperwork was finally copied and in my folder, I went to use the bathroom. Are you ready for this story? Trust me, it's a good one. When I flushed the toilet, I turned to wash my hands and my truck key (the big one with the faub on it) flew out of my pocket & straight down the toilet! Linc took the whole toilet apart and the key is nowhere to be found. And it is our only one...because I lost our other one over a year ago and have never found it. Now we have to go to the dealership tomorrow and spend $180 on a new key. Of course.

As far as the papers that were signed...this means that the parents have signed over their rights. We now have Kylee "officially" in our care and have the ability to make decisions for her now (like medical care, etc.) We are still in the process of being certified through LDS Family Services and signing temporary custody paperwork with our attorney. I could go into more detail, but it is kind of confusing. Basically, getting these papers signed was the most important part of this process and means that as long as certification goes well (I'm not sure why it wouldn't) she is ours! We are BEYOND excited!

Oh, and are you ready for some other INCREDIBLE news? My sister Melissa (who is responsible for bringing Kylee into our lives and who has always been my BEST FRIEND) is pregnant!!! Seriously...life just doesn't get much better than this!

P.S. More pictures like the one above (taken on our Utah trip last month) are coming...I finally uploaded the past month's pics to my computer! I'm sure you can't wait! :)

Can You Tell We're New Parents???

Linc's mom snapped this on the way to our niece's baptism on Sunday...yes, we are really asleep!

How To Lose 5 Pounds In 6 Days...

ADOPT A BABY.

Trip to Sugar Bowl

Lincoln's mom came down last night to help me out this weekend while Linc is working. We did TONS of organizing and got a lot done...it felt good! I have a lot to say about what has been going on. First of all, we decided on a name for our little girl...Kylee. We just tweaked her first name a little bit and are keeping her middle name. I also wanted to say a little bit about Kylee's birth mom. She is AMAZING. Because of her, I have witnessed a level of selflessness that I've never seen before. She is one of the most mature, gracious, loving people I have ever met. I wish you all could know her. You'd be better for it. Kylee's birth-grandma wanted to meet us, so today my mom, Linc's mom, Kylee and I met the birthmom and her mom at Sugar Bowl. The grandma is just as amazing as her daughter. The five of us laughed and cried and ate and talked and took pictures for 4 hours. The meeting couldn't have gone better. They kept thanking US for what we were doing for this little girl...shouldn't it have been the other way around? Incredible. On a funny note, here are Mom & I with our ice cream...we ordered the biggest thing on the menu and the people sitting next to us were laughing at us. It was delicious!

As we were walking to our car together we saw this sign hanging in the window of one of the shops and all stopped to look at it...

That about sums it up. I've never been happier.

Watching Our Dreams Come True!

Since Sunday we've been watching a huge dream of ours come to fruition...WE ARE ADOPTING A LITTLE GIRL! If everything goes according to plan, we should have her by Friday! It's a CRAZY experience going from not even planning on adopting right now to meeting our future daughter and filling out paperwork, hiring an attorney, being assigned a case worker, starting the process of becoming certified, babysitting this little girl so that we can get to know her better, making daily trips to Target to get baby supplies, getting no sleep, letting everyone know what is going on, planning baby showers, learning parenting skills and meeting with the birth parents! It's been such a huge learning experience already. Everything is falling into place. I'm not exaggerating when I say that things couldn't have gone more perfectly than they've gone so far. We feel VERY, VERY strongly that a big reason that this is happening is because of all the prayers that have been offered in our behalf. Thank you. Please keep them coming! This is truly our MIRACLE! More info to come...
P.S. Soon after we get the baby I'll be making our blog private so that I can start posting pictures of her. Please leave your email address if you want to be invited to view our blog!!! THANKS FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT YOU ALL SHOW TO US!!!

Getting Ready...

I wasn't feeling very well today & decided making posters for Family Feud wouldn't be a bad way to spend my time. I called up my mom & sister Megan and they agreed to do it with me. This is the poster I made...I'm not done with it yet. My mom came up with the words, "If the Allen family loses, I'll go to the John & O'Hurley." Get it? The host's name is John O'Hurley. I contributed the idea of the "o" in John being a toilet & writing the word "hurl" in big green letters. I can totally see myself thinking this is HILARIOUS during the taping, then coming home & wondering why in the world I would display something like this on tv! Oh well. On second thought, they probably won't even let me into the show with this poster. :) (And I wonder why Lincoln doesn't appreciate my sense of humor!)

Telling Our Story

Over a year ago I was meeting with my bishop and shared with him that Jackson's death was the most positive experience that Lincoln & I have ever had. I told Bishop that he would be so amazed if he even knew all of the little miracles that happened, or the service that was given to us during that time. He asked me to write those experiences down. Since then, I have tried to write them but am never happy with what I write. Experiences like that are so perfect that I don't want to taint them with my inadequacy in expressing myself. But I am going to attempt to. I've sat down a few times to write the whole story & feel overwhelmed, because I don't even know where to start. Because of that, I'll be posting several parts of the story on Jackson's blog...to have for myself & in case anyone wants to read them. The way I am telling it is simple & to-the-point...which is the best way I think.

MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PICS!!!

I wanted to add more pictures of the wedding & realized I hadn't yet looked at Shawn & Ashley's wedding photographer's photos. Well, let me just say that she did an AMAZING job!!! I LOVE Julie Parker's work! I'm hoping I'm allowed to post these, since they have her name on them. Here's her website...check her out!

Aren't they a gorgeous couple?!

Love this one of all the boys! The guy on the right is Ashley's sister's husband...