Hope

Last month our home teacher encouraged us to read this article from the Ensign about hope. I finally read it tonight...this was my favorite part: "(Hope) is serene. Her eyes have the deep, knowing look of someone well acquainted with sorrow, the luminosity of recently being wet with tears. Hope has the confidence of one who clearly sees a bright future even when the next hours seem fog shrouded. Hope is steady and strong..." I love that. Just thought I'd share!!!

A Quick Update

As far as my health goes, things have been really good lately! Life is SO, SO, SO much easier for us right now. I can't even believe it sometimes. I have a pretty good sense of what I can & can't eat now. However, there are still times when I eat something that I haven't eaten since all of these problems started, and I think it will be fine to eat, and it has completely messed me up...like last night! I thought I was doing good by eating one cookie and a few crackers with a scoop of cheeseball at the shower...but I am SO sick today. I slept until 1pm because my stomach hurt so much. I haven't been able to do anything yet today...and am nervous to eat anything. I'm pretty sure the cheeseball was the culprit, although I'm sure the cookie didn't help the situation. Man, it's so hard to give all of that stuff up, but I'm slowly doing it. I just hope this whole setback just lasts for today because the rest of this week is crazy. I'm crossing my fingers!!! Oh, and I had to stop exercising a couple weeks ago (it was way too exhausting to be worth it), so I'm trying to slowly add exercise back in. I can still feel the pain from my endometriosis, but it hasn't gotten any worse, which is pretty miraculous. Thanks for your prayers and for the books and tips people have given me lately! They are seriously working!!!

Melissa & Ashley's Bridal Shower

I seem to always post the most random pictures of nothing, but when I actually have something blog-worthy to post, I don't take any pictures! Oh well. Melissa & Ashley had a family bridal shower last night. It was so fun to see all of my cousins & aunts. Brad's mom & sister were able to come from Cali too. My cousin Lindsey threw the shower and did such a great job! After the shower, Linc & I hung out with the family since Ashley was leaving the next morning. We probably won't see her again until the wedding! I honestly love Ashley SO much. I can't believe I am so lucky to be getting such an amazing sister-in-law. I also can't believe that Melissa is getting married in 2 DAYS! The two of us have always been SO close and have been waiting for the day when we were both married! I'll be posting wedding pics soon!

4th of July Weekend

I decided since Lincoln was working all weekend, that I would take a trip to Snowflake to hang out with Lincoln's family! My brother Aaron and his friend Andrew came with me.We left home at 2:30pm and after a dinner stop in Pinetop, we got to Snowflake at 9pm. Ugh, it was a long, long drive! We hit rain & hail on our way to Payson and sat in traffic forever. We had to stop and take our luggage out of the back of the truck and put it inside. Poor Andrew was crammed in back with all of the luggage and both of my dogs sitting on his lap. :) We found ways to entertain ourselves though...one of which was the boys racing me up the hill into Payson. They were a funny sight. I'm really glad they came on this trip with me.

Visiting Jackson's Grave

Saturday was the hardest day I've had in a really, really long time. I only remember one Christmas since I had Jackson and one of Jackson's birthdays (and of course right after I had him) when I missed him so much and felt so sad about him not being here. I would have never thought a 4th of July would have brought out those emotions in me, but that's the crazy thing about grief...it can hit at any time. I never realized, until having to go through losing a child myself, that you can still feel such a deep sense of loss years after they are gone and that the feelings can hit so suddenly and so hard. Time does help so, so much, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if ten years down the road I have another day like this. It's just part of this whole process. Anyway, I bought some flowers for Jackson on Saturday and took them to his grave. They looked so pretty sitting there next to his headstone...

I had to take a picture of myself since I was alone. I LOVE going to the cemetery by myself. I've only done it a few times, but plan on doing it more. Of course I love visiting his grave with Lincoln too, but there is something about being there by myself with my little boy. Even though I know it is just his body that is there, I feel his spirit SO strongly every time I go...especially when I just sit and think about him by myself. Oh, I love this little guy. I miss him so much. I wish I could hug him and play with him and teach him. I know I just have to be patient and that day will eventually come.

This is truly my favorite place in the world.

Family Party

On Saturday Lincoln's family had a big 4th of July party in his parents' backyard. The kids played in the irrigation out front while the adults got ready for the party. Here is Claire getting ready to go play in the irrigation...


















Here's a pic of Duke's cute hairy face...oh, I love it!

At the party, while I was eating I saw Aaron walk up with something behind his back. He was going around asking people where I was...and I could see him the whole time. When he finally found me I told him that I already knew he had a big frog behind his back. Too bad he couldn't scare me with it. :)

I found this pic of Linc's cousin Molly on my camera when I got home. Lucky for her I'm posting the picture she took, so that everyone can see her lovely face. You're welcome Molly. :)

Taylor Rodeo

Saturday night I went with Aaron & his friends to the rodeo in Taylor. I loved watching the rodeo, even though I get so nervous for everyone out there! One guy did break his leg and had to be taken away in an ambulance. The rodeo clown did a little demonstration of cutting a girl in half that made me laugh my head off...I don't know why, but it struck me as being SO, SO hilarious. I could not stop laughing.

There was a part during the rodeo where they played patriotic music and had the horses run around with their riders holding flags. It was pretty cool.

After the rodeo we watched fireworks from the stands. They had patriotic music playing during the fireworks show. I LOVED it...it was great! It made me feel extremely grateful for and proud of my country. The only thing missing was Lincoln sitting next to me. Here is some of the group dancing after the show...

We left the next morning to come home in time for church. The drive home went by much quicker than the drive up, thank goodness! It was a fun trip!

Shawn's Bday Celebration

On Sunday night all of the cousins on my mom's side got together to take a "grandchildren picture" for my grandma. Then I came back to my parents to celebrate Shawn's bday with my family. We had caramel brownies & homemade ice cream. Here is the bday boy getting ready to blow out his candles...he's 22 years old now!!! Happy Birthday Shawn! We love you!

After dessert we hung out and had a lot of fun together. It was so fun to have everyone there (Ashley was visiting from Utah) and it made me realize how quickly our family is growing and how excited I am about it! I love that all of us get along so well. A bunch of the family got on the subject of gross things they'd had to eat on their missions. The boys were telling stories and kept trying to "one-up" eachother. Then Melissa came out with the worst story of all (it involved cat hair in her food)...so my dad made her an award that said "#1 Nasty Dinner". :)

Visit From Kenny & Cleona

Linc's brother Kenny and his family are visiting from Texas...they came to Mesa and spent the night at our house last night. The air mattress that they slept on took up most of our downstairs. :) I wish we had more room for visitors, but we are glad that they didn't mind squeezing into such a tight space! The boys wrestled with Lincoln and had a blast. The last picture is my favorite!!! Thanks for the visit Kenny & Cleona! We've really missed you guys!

Here are a few really random pictures from the past few weeks...
Daisy & Duke get SO excited when Lincoln's alarm goes off upstairs and it is time for him to wake up. They run up and jump on the bed and smother him with kisses.

On Fathers Day my family visited my Grandad. He lead us all in singing "I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home" for him. He even did the actions for us. Ha ha, I love him.

The dogs tore a hole in the pillow that goes in their bed & pulled the fluff out. This is what I found when I walked upstairs to see what they were doing...you can tell that they knew they were in trouble. :)

Isabel (a girl in our ward) cut her chin & head and had to go to the ER. Lincoln washed her wounds and helped take care of her. Isabel's mom sent me this picture...isn't it so cute?! :) I love Isabel...I had her in Primary and she is adorable! I'm glad she is ok!

Happy 4th of July!!!

I Love Him

I like this picture...I think it kind of sums up our relationship. Even though a lot of times we feel like the "handcarts" we've had to pull since we've been married have really slowed us down, they've definitely made us stronger. What more could you ask for in a marriage? I think it's common to compare your own marriage to the marriages of those around you. Sometimes it seems that other couples are so far ahead of where you and your spouse are, or that something comes so easily for someone else that is a huge challenge for you. I'm so glad to know that as long as we are together and moving forward, we will get to where we need to be. A lot of times I feel like one of us is pulling the cart, while the other one is barely hanging on, but I think that's what marriage is! I'm so thankful for Lincoln. He helps me so much. I love that I can confide in him the way that I do. He helps me find balance in life. I'm so glad that I have him!